I Sold My Birthright, Twice Pt 1

Birthright – A privilege from birth.  Just because you were born. 

12/14/2018 at 9:46 pm.
This blog entry is from my journal. When I journal I receive revelation and learn as I write. They are my thoughts at the time and what I perceive as Christ’s answers and how we flow as we speak.

I sold my birthright twice to John. I did not realize it at the time so let me explain what I mean.

I am fasting no food and no water for several weeks.  A week before I told God that I wanted to fast.  Of course we know it was truly His unctioning.  So I presented to Him when I would start and how long and what it would consist of: I chose January 6, to end it, to consume no food or water, and I would start on Monday, December 10.  On December 8, He liquefied my bowels.  Very subtly.  On Sunday I ate nothing.  I knew everything was starting – on His timing.  
This is what I presented to God and He accepted.  I know that God accepted because he liquefied my bowels.  One thing about long fasts is that after you come off of the fast your bowels may be very hard and dry.  One of my requests before I fast is that the Lord naturally do this for me.  I do not like taking laxatives or drinking teas or even preparing by minimizing what I eat before I begin a fast.  I trust God.  And this is one of the ways that He shows me that He has accepted it.  

12/10/2018 Monday – Official start date

John (not his name) showed up on day 1 of my fast with a bowl of chicken noodle soup. I was getting over some flu like symptoms. Because of the way that I felt I really believed that the Lord was telling me to eat this soup.  I believed that the Lord had provided a neighbor to sustain me and help restore my health.  I thought it was from God since it was right on time. 

When I took the soup from John, I walked into my kitchen to place it on the counter.  The moment that I did I began to cry.  Emotionally overwhelmed.  All I heard from God was, “I just want to be with you.”  I was like ok.  I’m coming but why am I crying. Why are you crying. I knew that they were not my tears.  I knew they were from Him. I replied, “I just want to be with you, too.”  So I placed the bowl and crackers down and went back to my bedroom to relax and get back to Him.  The tears ceased. 

During this worship time I kept asking Him what did He mean?  I reminded Him that I did not understand.  He never answered.  

I ate the soup after 6 pm believing that that is what He wanted me to do.  

12/11/2018 Tuesday

I ate some potted meat with crackers and drank some tea.  I saw myself eating that so when 6 pm rolled around I ate and drank.  Believe it or not my spirit was vexed and I knew it.  I did not feel right but because I saw myself eating the potted meat I continued.  I drank the tea because in my spirit I also felt like I was to drink some tea.  For some reason I knew that he wanted me to drink some tea. So I did with my potted meat after 6pm.  I chose 6pm because I felt that He changed my fast to an eat after 6pm fast.  

12/12/2018 Wednesday 

John shows up with a bean and ground beef with tomatoes soup. I ate it. While eating this I cried.  My spirit was so vexed.  But because of the circumstances I continued.  This is Bible study night and the Lord just had me waiting around my house.  I felt like I needed to drink some warm tea before leaving.  While preparing my tea, John shows up.  He brings me another soup.  It is after 6 so I begin to eat it.  I cry and do not feel right but I really felt like it was the Lord speaking.  I do not want to finish it but I do.  I eat the crackers and drink the tea and then leave for church.  

Now for the lesson to begin:

The Lord honored this no food no water fast by liquefying my bowels in preparation for this fast. After the chicken noodle soup, I knew something. I felt something but didn’t know exactly what it was. After I ate the chicken noodle soup and the Lord liquefied my bowels again as to say I’m giving you a second chance to get it right. Yes, I had another soft stool to clean me out. All naturally.  All the Lord’s doing.

Yet, I ate again on Tuesday. I saw myself eating potted meat. Now, just because I saw myself does not mean that I should have. I could have been seeing it because He was showing me what I was doing. I am learning from what I see.  I used to believe that if I saw it it must mean that the Lord ok’d it.  I’m learning.  

This whole fast is a learning lesson. The Lord told me to drink tea after 6 pm on Monday.  When I heard that I felt off in my spirit but I agreed.  I now know what that off feeling feels like and what it means.  I’m learning.  Because of agreeing to drink the tea after 6 pm, that is when I agreed that the chicken soup had to be from God. I can now see the progression.  I agreed with the voice to drink the tea so the next move was to get me to eat.  Then on Wednesday He has me waiting and then John shows up with some beans and beef soup as the Lord tells me to have some tea before church on Wednesday. 

  • Why has the Lord taken this fast time to teach me? 
  • Is this voice really from the Lord?
  • Why is my Fast not going the way it should?

Ok.  Something is happening.  I check myself and I know what I have felt and what the Lord has been leading me to do.  Yes, the Lord has chosen this fast to teach me a lesson.  Not just a lesson but to deliver me from ignorance, to remind me of who I am and what belongs to me, and the scheme of the enemy.  I really have been hearing the Lord and His voice has led me right into deliverance.  Right where He wanted and needed me to be.  I am growing and He is teaching.  Thank you Holy Ghost.  If this fast was mine and to me then it would be going the way that I wanted it to go: me reading, resting, studying, meditating, not eating or drinking, and feeling like I am on top of this fast.  But from the beginning the Lord let me know that this was not so for this fast.  This has only been the first week!

12/14/2018 Friday

Today, I tell John, no to eating spaghetti because I am fasting. I have received revelation and with it came strength.

So today I don’t eat. I go to get some water and I feel like nope. This is my fasting. I was reading this morning Prophet Shepherd Bushiri’s book called Sleeping Near the Ark and in the tabernacle is manna. God keeps us fed by the manna from the ark. The ark within me. Jesus is that bread of life. Therefore I shall not eat. I have done it before and I’m doing it now. The Lord has kept me before. Thank you Jesus. 

I am starting my new year strong, with a strong foundation, by ending it building the strong foundation. 

What birthright did I sell?  My identity and dominion (authority).  Let me explain how I came up with these.

Adam and Eve sold theirs for a piece of fruit as well. 

Genesis 3:17 – And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it:

Disobedience from eating.  Through eating.  The enemy has been using this same ol’ trick from the beginning of mankind.  When God told Adam not to eat the fruit of that tree was the same thing He told me when He agreed to accept my fast request:  Do Not Eat.  I disobeyed.  I lost my God-given birthright of dominion.

What Dominion?  Through this act of disobedience I allowed for witchcraft to come in.  I allowed for the enemy to have control over my thoughts.  The lust of my flesh, which was to eat, prevailed.  My disobedience was blatant rebellion.  I chose to trust eating over what I knew was right.  I allowed for another way of thinking

1 Samuel 15:23 – For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft,
and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry.

Esau sold his for some soup. He was so hungry that he agreed to give his birthright to his younger brother for some food. 

Genesis 25:31-34 – and Jacob said, Sell me this day thy birthright.  And Esau said, Behold, I am at the point to die: and what profit shall this birthright do to me?  And Jacob said, Swear to me this day; and he sware unto him: and he sold his birthright unto Jacob.  Then Jacob gave Esau bread and pottage of lentiles; and he did eat and drink,…..

I came up with my birthright because my meal on Wednesday was beans, soup and crackers.  Jacob fed Esau bread and lentils soup.  Lentils are beans.  See the comparison.  I did not at first but now I do.  

Now this is where it gets real.  Even realer.  After the rebellion and witchcraft comes stubbornness as iniquity and idolatry.  After Jacob received the birthright he then went and lied to his father, Isaac.  This lie was to steal the blessing of the birthright.  So now that Jacob had it spoken to him from his elder brother, he now needed it to manifest in his life from a blessing from his father.  Father’s are the ones who pass on the birthrights before they die.  

Jacob lied to Isaac over Venison soup. My God. Iniquity (immoral behavior).  Another soup.    This is nothing new.

Genesis 27:19 – And Jacob said unto his father, I am Esau thy firstborn; I have done according as thou badest me: arise, I pray thee, sit and eat of my venison, that thy soul may bless me.

Both were meals and I sold mine twice to the same person for some soup. I missed it on Monday and Wednesday but caught it on Friday. Thank you Jesus. 

That was the Old Testament and God has redeemed my birthright back through Him living in me. In the name of Jesus. Therefore I do not accept that I sold my birthright. I have my birthright. My inheritance through Jesus Christ as heir and joint heir. 

Dominion. We lost dominion through the first Adam but regained it back through the second Adam. Jesus went into the wilderness 40 days led of the Holy Ghost and He was with the wild beasts. There. Right there is where we got our dominion back. Amen. As Adam was with the wild beasts so was Jesus.  

My confession:

I know who I am and I know that trick of the devil. He often uses food. When I came off of my fast in 2015/2016 December it was because of food. Beans in a soup from the crockpot. I made a bean soup and broke my fast 8 days early.  

I thank you Jesus for revealing during the first week. Amen

This showed up and gave me hope and understanding. I am the salt of the earth. 

If I don’t make this fast who will. It is not for me. 

If I lose my savor then what. 

The enemy wants me to believe that I lost my birthright. I then go right over to the New Testament and shine all over him. Smother him and cover him with identity scriptures. I know who I am. I know what Christ dying for me means. I own up to it. 

  • Galatians 4:7 – … an heir of God through Christ.
  • Romans :17 – And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ;..
  • Galatians 2:20 – I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me…. 

I did not realize this on my own.  I was taught it.  I won the battle over my identity last February 2018 with Jennifer LeClaire and Ryan Johnson when I received the knowledge of what it was. Before that Pastor Gools daughter in North Carolina explained it very well. I have in me everything that I need to walk in my identity. 

My flesh nor the enemy can get me through food anymore when it comes to fasting. I declare this.  I am aware of this tactic from the enemy.  

Ephesians 6:11 – Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. (niv)

There is nothing new under the sun. Who knew SOUP would still be used by the enemy amen. There is a scripture for everything. Thank you Jesus for revelation. 

Now let me get closer to you through fasting. Amen. At the beginning I wanted to be with Him.  I didn’t understand how but now I do.  

Ok, this is where I end Part 1. The Lord has been faithful to me and has shown me grace and mercy through my learning Him. Do not think that the Lord teaches you and holds you accountable-No- He is Grace. He gives us a space to learn from. We do have tests in Him and He grades on the curve. He is so just that if we do not get it right the first time He gives us another one. He is so faithful.

Subscribe to my blog so you will know when Part 2 is released.


Why I Went AWOL – God Told Me To


This photo is the flight deck of the ship that I was stationed to.  I was standing on this platform when I saw the vision of the man jumping ship.


Me again with one foot in and the other one out. (not sure who the guy is)

Why I went AWOL – God told me to.

I was in the Navy and went to work like any other day.  Got there early and found my way to the flight deck.  It was the end of June, so we would all gather outside on the top of the ship; the part where helicopters landed.  As we were lining up I saw out of the right corner of my eye a man jumping ship.  It was so real that I told my friend in front of me. I said, “I just saw a man jump.”

Yes, she believed me. At this time in my life I was seeing things and hearing things and learning, Jesus.  I didn’t know much about visions (opened or closed) or the prophetic. I wasn’t being taught by anyone because we spent so much time on the ship.  My basic time with Jesus was reading and praying and fasting.  As I was seeing things and hearing voices I just believed them.  So, when I saw that man jump over ship in the spirit I wondered what it meant.  Below, I share one day from my journal about how it came to be, me, going AWOL.

6/30/2016@0425. Thursday


Jump ship means to run. Amen. Run from whom? The ship? I was talking to my friend. Amen when the Lord spoke it and showed me the vision amen. @0426


Lord send me I’ll go, draw me I’ll come.

Draw me: call me. Yes Lord. Amen.

Call me to what Jesus: 


Amen. I do not answer God fast enough. Amen 


The Lord is my covering. Amen. He is my protection. He is my shepherd. Psalm 23

Song. Safe in his arms. Milton @0445 


What honors the Lord the most. Amen.



Run as fast as I can to evangelizing amen.  God will cover me. Protect me. Lord. Where do I send your people?

Lord I just ask that you never leave. No Lord. You have never left me. Yes Lord. Send me I will go. I will run. Amen.

My name is Alwonza I AM. Thank You Jesus 


God called me a nomad. Amen.

Nomad: having no permanent abode. Amen

Travel from place to place to find fresh pasture; does not stay long in the same place. A wanderer. (Dictionary.com)

The Lord gave me this word for the first-time last night. I thought it was something bad amen. As the world has trained me to perceive. Amen. But the Lord is using it for the good. Amen. @0514 


While typing about nomad the Lord told me what jumping ship meant. Amen. To go AWOL

End of journal entry.

I wake up to pray before work and the Lord speaks to me about what He said the day before.  As He speaks I write and ask questions.  30 minutes later I have another Word – AWOL.

4:25 am – I gave the vision back to the Lord.

4:28 am – Before I heard from God I had agreed to run.

4:41 am – The Lord speaks Psalm 23 to me.  He is my covering, protection, shepherd.

He sings to me the song by Reverend Milton Brunson – Safe in His arms.

4:46 am – He speaks to me the word- OBEDIENCE

4:49 am – This journey will be me evangelizing as fast as I can.  I encourage myself by speaking God will cover me and protect me.  I build my faith for this moment.  I then turn and ask God not to leave me which is something that He said He would never do.  My faith wavered.  God spoke to me and I answered Him by saying, “No Lord……” – He asked me has He ever left me?  Then He asks me will I go, and I say, “Yes, Lord….I will  run.

He gives me His surname – I AM.  Alwonza I AM.

5:11 am – After He called me He then describes me.  Calling me a nomad basically describes my  journey; my path.  As a nomad I would have no place to sleep or stay.

5:15 am – In the middle of writing my understanding down the Lord continued to speak.  It was at this moment that I had fully accepted and believed and was convinced and begin to think about it.

I thought about it often. This was June 30, 2016 and my first day, the day that I did not show up to work was on July 27, 2016.  27 days later.

Day 1.

7/27/2016. Wednesday.


I am pulling away from my first apartment. Alone. On the strength of the Lord amen. In faith. Not looking back amen. This is the freedom that I have been waiting for. Looking for. The joy that I have been waiting for amen.

Song. This is freedom by Tasha Cobbs amen. Is playing while I pull away. Perfect timing amen. Thank You Jesus. Lord I love you and am ready amen. This is the freedom of the Lord. Amen.@1036

End of journal entry. 

During these 27 days I wavered.  I took leave but then went back to work.  I told my friend; only one person.  I gave away everything in my apartment.  I slept in a sleeping bag on the floor in my apartment.

I waited, patiently for the Lord to speak.  I had to hear Him perfectly.  He spoke. I froze.  I got scared.  I panicked. I was anxious.  I was nervous.  I disobeyed.  Yes, after all that preparation I still did not move when He said to move.  Not moving was me not going in to work.  What I was feeling was new.  I had never felt that way before.  I am not perfect, I had disobeyed before and did not feel like this. I couldn’t shake it.

I was at work and my boss came to me and asked me, “why are you here?”  I just stood there. He did not even ask or wait for me to reply.  He just looked at me and then walked away.  Next, I saw his boss and he asked me the same thing.  I was asked why I was there.  I knew it was God.   I had a dream a few nights before that and in the dream my son was telling me dates and talking to me about work.  The dream was coming to pass.

I then made up my mind and followed the new signs that were before me.  I did not move by faith only the first time so this time I was given something to do and a place to be.  I had to be on the road by a certain day to make it to where God was sending me.  This became my confidence.  My motivation.  My foundation.  My will to obey this was greater to me than my will to disobey.  I couldn’t stay home.  I couldn’t go to work anymore.

As I think about how I have been moving in the Lord, He usually gives me a vision or a dream or shows me signs to get me to move.  I move by faith through what I see Him doing and saying.  Yes, saying.  I see His Words, and this helps me with my obedience.  So, I didn’t move on a conversation that I had with God alone, I moved after evidence; a manifestation of what to do next.

I thank God for the way that He speaks to me.

I thank God for meeting me where I am.

I thank God for His patience.

He says that HE speaks twice, three times.  I did not move the first time He spoke, and He gave me another chance according to His Word.

God is Love and He does not want us to fail.

My book; Why I Went AWOL – God Told Me To, is a series book.   At the end of the series is where I am now and how me going AWOL had nothing to do with me but had everything to do with God.

I AM glad that He asked me to go.

The journey was fun.

The video I posted to my social media platforms about this post.  1:24 minutes.