I Sold My Birthright, Twice Pt 2

In Part 1 I capture my conversation with God. I talk about how I presented to Him a fast and how I knew when He accepted it. While on this fast I was tempted through my own desires and I was tested about keeping my word. I failed on both levels more than once. The Lord showed Himself mightily through His Grace and Mercy. He kept presenting me with moments to pass until I caught the revelation and the lesson embedded in the test.

Part 2 reflects the continuation of bringing this lesson to light from spiritual to manifesting in the natural. My conversation continues and picks up where it progressed.

Now let me get closer to you through fasting. Amen. At the beginning I wanted to be with Him.  I didn’t understand how but now I do.  

 If I would have kept going, I too, would have lied over soup as Jacob lied to Isaac over venison soup.

It’s getting deep.  Real deep.  

My conversation with God:

  • God says, “I lied to my father.” 
  • I ask, “Lord what did I lie to my natural father about?”
  • I told my natural father that I was going silent on this fast. But I have been speaking to people. Thank you, Jesus.
  • I told my natural father that I was doing no food no water.  Thank you, Jesus.

My natural father represents God, my Father, in this scenario so I apply everything to God, as my Father to see where have I lied to God.  

  • I ask, “Lord what have I lied to you about?”
  • I am reminded that: I lied to God about saying I am going to fast these weeks with no food and water and I ate and drank for four days straight.

On Thursday, December 13, I ate meat. Steak. Trying to convince the Father (like Jacob did to Isaac) like I was still fasting although I was eating after 6 pm, which was not a part of the vow that I made with Him to fast. I offered to Him a fast of no food or water. He honored it by making my bowels soft so that I would not be constipated or have hard stools when I ended my fast. To God be the glory. 

I thank God for many chances. He speaks two and three times. 

I have repented in the name of Jesus amen. 

This thing manifested.  It gets juicy after this.

I hit a buck. A male deer on November 8, 2018.

Venison is meat and I ate meat on Thursday night and became nauseous and got a headache. I asked God was it high blood pressure or diabetes. Nope. It was because I was lying to to God. With meat. Remember, Jacob lied to his father over Venison soup. Venison is deer meet.  

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This morning I bought a plane ticket to go get my car back from Buick. They repaired it. My SUV has been repaired and released for me to go get amen. Thank you Jesus. I received my breakthrough and release before I knew how or what I even went through.  The Lord woke me up and led me online to purchase my ticket and get back what I rightfully gave over to the enemy.  I handed it to him.  He did not steal it.  He walked right up to me with some soup and I handed it over to him.  Now I am going back to get what is mine.  AUTHORITY.

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SIDENOTE: That deer split my car down the middle.  Nothing affected the driver side.  He came for me but couldn’t touch me.  But God…
  • That deer stood as tall as my suv. 
  • That’s how big this lie was. To God. And it stopped me in my tracks. 
  • That lie has held me up. Cost me money from renting cars and taking Lyft. 
  • Cost me my relationship with Christ, my Father. 
  • A lie. 
  • This lie was that big and cost me my relationship with the Father because a liar will not tarry in His sight. 

I could not get close to see the Father face to face because I lied. Had I known the scriptures I would have seen that this was a tactic of the enemy. SOUP. Still till this day. SOUP.   

Then this week a lie starting out. A lie to my natural father of no food and no water.  A real lesson learned. 

That is why that deer was so big and tall and stopped me in my tracks.

But God is a redeemer. He loves us. So He allowed me to kill what was hindering me. I killed that deer when I hit it. It tried to kill me. My lie manifested and what the devil thought for evil God has used to educate me so that I will not perish for lack of knowledge. Thank you Jesus. 

I killed all soups that the enemy has used for my family. My family not being able to fast is over. That trick and lie of the enemy is defeated. It cost me money and time and face time with God. No more.  The fact that I ate 2 soups means that the enemy used it twice in my family. Generational. 

It got me 2 years ago but I defeated it this year. For my family. Stealing and lying through soup is not our portion. My children will never suffer with fasting. It is easy to them. 

My parents can now fast in peace. With strength. Not being tempted of the enemy with Soup, a scheme he thought of many years ago. 

God is good. Amazing. 

A venison soup was used to lie to his father, Isaac, and soup was used for me to lie to my Father, God.  

And I hit a deer. My lie manifested and God kept me. 

Now I can go before the Father in Spirit and in Truth

Now my visitation with Him can happen. Now I am expecting. Now I have my breakthrough. I broke through that lie when I hit that deer and it did not kill me. God preserved me. 

 My breakthrough into the throne room. 

  • A liar cannot tarry in Gods sight.
  • My lies are done.
  • Torn down.
  • Done away with.
  • I can now approach the throne of God.
  • I now can see and expect my visitation(s). Everyday.
  • Angels. Angelic beings.
  • The Lord has been preparing me for this breakthrough and today I will meet my Savior face-to-face. 


  • Confess 
  • Repent
  • Forgive yourself.  Do not beat yourself about what you did Not know.
  • Read what His Word says.  He continually forgives His children.  
  • God knew what we would do when He created us.  He already forgave us.  Its included in His blood.  
  • Know who you are.  and BELIEVE it.  
  • Knowing whose we are allows us to walk with God- as Adam did. 
  • As Christ did……And Christ in us allows us to walk with Him today.

Because I Iied

  • Opened the door for high blood pressure. 
  • Now becoming the salt of the earth was now turning salt against me. 
  • Nauseous – not wanting to eat meat or seasoning. 
  • Thinking God is saying I’m vegan or vegetarian – not the way I felt after eating meat. 
  • Heart disease
  • Headaches 
  • Pressure in head behind ears 
  • Feel like head is about to explode
  • Pain pills 
  • Speaking lies over self. Speaking death over self about how I feel 
  • Cursing myself. 
  • Repeating story to others confirming lies of self. 
  • Having others agree with me about me. 
  • Now delivered. I now renounce affects of the lie. 
  • Closing portals and gateways. 
  • Closing doors 
  • Renouncing lies spoken of myself 
  • I can now tarry in God’s sight because I am no longer a liar. 
  • Speaking life over me 
  • Speaking opposite of everything I said about me negative 
  • I come out of agreement with those who agreed with me. 

When Jacob was no longer known as a liar his name changed. An angel appeared that he wrestled with and changed his name before blessing him. 

The Lord on yesterday showed me my name LaToya. I love Alwonza because it is different and unique. LaToya means victory. Triumphed. He showed me my new name yesterday. This morning He released me to go get my car. Tonight He revealed what held me up from His presence-a lie on Him. 

Today I took a nap on my pillow as Jacob did and saw God standing at the top of the ladder and angels ascending and descending. 

As I type this I am meditating on Mark 6:41 with reference to Matthew 26:26. God came Himself to feed much people and his disciples. He moved with compassion. 

He too has moved with compassion on me to reveal to me what was separating me from Him. He wants me in his presence. His compassion on my requests to be in his presence has caused Him to come himself in me. I am broken. Fasting. Eating with Him is spiritual food. Manna in me from His tabernacle in me. His dwelling place in me. Which is reading His word.

His word is good to me. 

He has moved with compassion towards me as I looked up to heaven to commit my body as a living sacrifice. His body that dwells in me as a living sacrifice. And God the Father honored it. And broke me even more and multiplied Himself in me. Multiplied Himself in me looks like more of Him. More of His characteristics. I traded my lies to Him and He took them and replaced them with truth. The Holy Spirit. His Holy Spirit. Galatians 5:23. To bear more of His fruit. No more lies. I gained truth. And compassion. Compassion for myself. Growing in Him that I have more compassion for His people that He may be seen more in me. Through me.

Giving me compassion. Showing me compassion makes me want to show compassion to others. As He did it for me I will do it for others.  To much is given much is required. 

This compassion that I was shown is to feed His people. People who followed Him like sheep without a shepherd. I will teach many things then send them away with bread. Bread from me. Bread from above. Broken. Broken through faith after looking up to the Father. 

Miracles. This faith is miracles. 

Compassion = faith = miracles. 

Faith is a fruit of the spirit. Obtained through brokenness. Humbleness. Compassion. 

Today Prophet Shepherd Bushiri prayed that we receive the Spirit of Faith. 12/14/2018. 1 Corinthians 12 faith. 

The Spirit of Faith. A Power gift. Faith miracles and healing. Faith is the dominant of the three. 

Isiah 29:24. They that erred in spirit. I erred but God had a scripture for me. I came into understanding. And He counted it as faith. Isaiah 29:22. God redeemed Abraham. Jacob shall not be ashamed. Jacob was a liar. I was a liar and neither of us shall be ashamed. Isaiah 29:23. When I see God’s children and the work of Him through my hands, I shall sanctify His name and fear the God of Israel (Jacobs new name). Amen. 

God again gets all of the glory. Even when the enemy thought he was ahead and thought perhaps he got one of God’s children ensnared and bound and captured through and with a lie. God said not so. And God gets all of the glory.

Out of the lie came compassion with a reward of the gift of faith. 

God gets all of the glory. Amen. And amen. 

Today is 3/13/2019, Wednesday. On Sunday past my Pastor declared that we walked into the Supernatural. The Supernatural requires Faith. You have to believe what you see. This blog post was written on 12/24/2019 but I was not able to post it until now. I thank God for His timing.


I Sold My Birthright, Twice Pt 1

Birthright – A privilege from birth.  Just because you were born. 

12/14/2018 at 9:46 pm.
This blog entry is from my journal. When I journal I receive revelation and learn as I write. They are my thoughts at the time and what I perceive as Christ’s answers and how we flow as we speak.

I sold my birthright twice to John. I did not realize it at the time so let me explain what I mean.

I am fasting no food and no water for several weeks.  A week before I told God that I wanted to fast.  Of course we know it was truly His unctioning.  So I presented to Him when I would start and how long and what it would consist of: I chose January 6, to end it, to consume no food or water, and I would start on Monday, December 10.  On December 8, He liquefied my bowels.  Very subtly.  On Sunday I ate nothing.  I knew everything was starting – on His timing.  
This is what I presented to God and He accepted.  I know that God accepted because he liquefied my bowels.  One thing about long fasts is that after you come off of the fast your bowels may be very hard and dry.  One of my requests before I fast is that the Lord naturally do this for me.  I do not like taking laxatives or drinking teas or even preparing by minimizing what I eat before I begin a fast.  I trust God.  And this is one of the ways that He shows me that He has accepted it.  

12/10/2018 Monday – Official start date

John (not his name) showed up on day 1 of my fast with a bowl of chicken noodle soup. I was getting over some flu like symptoms. Because of the way that I felt I really believed that the Lord was telling me to eat this soup.  I believed that the Lord had provided a neighbor to sustain me and help restore my health.  I thought it was from God since it was right on time. 

When I took the soup from John, I walked into my kitchen to place it on the counter.  The moment that I did I began to cry.  Emotionally overwhelmed.  All I heard from God was, “I just want to be with you.”  I was like ok.  I’m coming but why am I crying. Why are you crying. I knew that they were not my tears.  I knew they were from Him. I replied, “I just want to be with you, too.”  So I placed the bowl and crackers down and went back to my bedroom to relax and get back to Him.  The tears ceased. 

During this worship time I kept asking Him what did He mean?  I reminded Him that I did not understand.  He never answered.  

I ate the soup after 6 pm believing that that is what He wanted me to do.  

12/11/2018 Tuesday

I ate some potted meat with crackers and drank some tea.  I saw myself eating that so when 6 pm rolled around I ate and drank.  Believe it or not my spirit was vexed and I knew it.  I did not feel right but because I saw myself eating the potted meat I continued.  I drank the tea because in my spirit I also felt like I was to drink some tea.  For some reason I knew that he wanted me to drink some tea. So I did with my potted meat after 6pm.  I chose 6pm because I felt that He changed my fast to an eat after 6pm fast.  

12/12/2018 Wednesday 

John shows up with a bean and ground beef with tomatoes soup. I ate it. While eating this I cried.  My spirit was so vexed.  But because of the circumstances I continued.  This is Bible study night and the Lord just had me waiting around my house.  I felt like I needed to drink some warm tea before leaving.  While preparing my tea, John shows up.  He brings me another soup.  It is after 6 so I begin to eat it.  I cry and do not feel right but I really felt like it was the Lord speaking.  I do not want to finish it but I do.  I eat the crackers and drink the tea and then leave for church.  

Now for the lesson to begin:

The Lord honored this no food no water fast by liquefying my bowels in preparation for this fast. After the chicken noodle soup, I knew something. I felt something but didn’t know exactly what it was. After I ate the chicken noodle soup and the Lord liquefied my bowels again as to say I’m giving you a second chance to get it right. Yes, I had another soft stool to clean me out. All naturally.  All the Lord’s doing.

Yet, I ate again on Tuesday. I saw myself eating potted meat. Now, just because I saw myself does not mean that I should have. I could have been seeing it because He was showing me what I was doing. I am learning from what I see.  I used to believe that if I saw it it must mean that the Lord ok’d it.  I’m learning.  

This whole fast is a learning lesson. The Lord told me to drink tea after 6 pm on Monday.  When I heard that I felt off in my spirit but I agreed.  I now know what that off feeling feels like and what it means.  I’m learning.  Because of agreeing to drink the tea after 6 pm, that is when I agreed that the chicken soup had to be from God. I can now see the progression.  I agreed with the voice to drink the tea so the next move was to get me to eat.  Then on Wednesday He has me waiting and then John shows up with some beans and beef soup as the Lord tells me to have some tea before church on Wednesday. 

  • Why has the Lord taken this fast time to teach me? 
  • Is this voice really from the Lord?
  • Why is my Fast not going the way it should?

Ok.  Something is happening.  I check myself and I know what I have felt and what the Lord has been leading me to do.  Yes, the Lord has chosen this fast to teach me a lesson.  Not just a lesson but to deliver me from ignorance, to remind me of who I am and what belongs to me, and the scheme of the enemy.  I really have been hearing the Lord and His voice has led me right into deliverance.  Right where He wanted and needed me to be.  I am growing and He is teaching.  Thank you Holy Ghost.  If this fast was mine and to me then it would be going the way that I wanted it to go: me reading, resting, studying, meditating, not eating or drinking, and feeling like I am on top of this fast.  But from the beginning the Lord let me know that this was not so for this fast.  This has only been the first week!

12/14/2018 Friday

Today, I tell John, no to eating spaghetti because I am fasting. I have received revelation and with it came strength.

So today I don’t eat. I go to get some water and I feel like nope. This is my fasting. I was reading this morning Prophet Shepherd Bushiri’s book called Sleeping Near the Ark and in the tabernacle is manna. God keeps us fed by the manna from the ark. The ark within me. Jesus is that bread of life. Therefore I shall not eat. I have done it before and I’m doing it now. The Lord has kept me before. Thank you Jesus. 

I am starting my new year strong, with a strong foundation, by ending it building the strong foundation. 

What birthright did I sell?  My identity and dominion (authority).  Let me explain how I came up with these.

Adam and Eve sold theirs for a piece of fruit as well. 

Genesis 3:17 – And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it:

Disobedience from eating.  Through eating.  The enemy has been using this same ol’ trick from the beginning of mankind.  When God told Adam not to eat the fruit of that tree was the same thing He told me when He agreed to accept my fast request:  Do Not Eat.  I disobeyed.  I lost my God-given birthright of dominion.

What Dominion?  Through this act of disobedience I allowed for witchcraft to come in.  I allowed for the enemy to have control over my thoughts.  The lust of my flesh, which was to eat, prevailed.  My disobedience was blatant rebellion.  I chose to trust eating over what I knew was right.  I allowed for another way of thinking

1 Samuel 15:23 – For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft,
and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry.

Esau sold his for some soup. He was so hungry that he agreed to give his birthright to his younger brother for some food. 

Genesis 25:31-34 – and Jacob said, Sell me this day thy birthright.  And Esau said, Behold, I am at the point to die: and what profit shall this birthright do to me?  And Jacob said, Swear to me this day; and he sware unto him: and he sold his birthright unto Jacob.  Then Jacob gave Esau bread and pottage of lentiles; and he did eat and drink,…..

I came up with my birthright because my meal on Wednesday was beans, soup and crackers.  Jacob fed Esau bread and lentils soup.  Lentils are beans.  See the comparison.  I did not at first but now I do.  

Now this is where it gets real.  Even realer.  After the rebellion and witchcraft comes stubbornness as iniquity and idolatry.  After Jacob received the birthright he then went and lied to his father, Isaac.  This lie was to steal the blessing of the birthright.  So now that Jacob had it spoken to him from his elder brother, he now needed it to manifest in his life from a blessing from his father.  Father’s are the ones who pass on the birthrights before they die.  

Jacob lied to Isaac over Venison soup. My God. Iniquity (immoral behavior).  Another soup.    This is nothing new.

Genesis 27:19 – And Jacob said unto his father, I am Esau thy firstborn; I have done according as thou badest me: arise, I pray thee, sit and eat of my venison, that thy soul may bless me.

Both were meals and I sold mine twice to the same person for some soup. I missed it on Monday and Wednesday but caught it on Friday. Thank you Jesus. 

That was the Old Testament and God has redeemed my birthright back through Him living in me. In the name of Jesus. Therefore I do not accept that I sold my birthright. I have my birthright. My inheritance through Jesus Christ as heir and joint heir. 

Dominion. We lost dominion through the first Adam but regained it back through the second Adam. Jesus went into the wilderness 40 days led of the Holy Ghost and He was with the wild beasts. There. Right there is where we got our dominion back. Amen. As Adam was with the wild beasts so was Jesus.  

My confession:

I know who I am and I know that trick of the devil. He often uses food. When I came off of my fast in 2015/2016 December it was because of food. Beans in a soup from the crockpot. I made a bean soup and broke my fast 8 days early.  

I thank you Jesus for revealing during the first week. Amen

This showed up and gave me hope and understanding. I am the salt of the earth. 

If I don’t make this fast who will. It is not for me. 

If I lose my savor then what. 

The enemy wants me to believe that I lost my birthright. I then go right over to the New Testament and shine all over him. Smother him and cover him with identity scriptures. I know who I am. I know what Christ dying for me means. I own up to it. 

  • Galatians 4:7 – … an heir of God through Christ.
  • Romans :17 – And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ;..
  • Galatians 2:20 – I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me…. 

I did not realize this on my own.  I was taught it.  I won the battle over my identity last February 2018 with Jennifer LeClaire and Ryan Johnson when I received the knowledge of what it was. Before that Pastor Gools daughter in North Carolina explained it very well. I have in me everything that I need to walk in my identity. 

My flesh nor the enemy can get me through food anymore when it comes to fasting. I declare this.  I am aware of this tactic from the enemy.  

Ephesians 6:11 – Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. (niv)

There is nothing new under the sun. Who knew SOUP would still be used by the enemy amen. There is a scripture for everything. Thank you Jesus for revelation. 

Now let me get closer to you through fasting. Amen. At the beginning I wanted to be with Him.  I didn’t understand how but now I do.  

Ok, this is where I end Part 1. The Lord has been faithful to me and has shown me grace and mercy through my learning Him. Do not think that the Lord teaches you and holds you accountable-No- He is Grace. He gives us a space to learn from. We do have tests in Him and He grades on the curve. He is so just that if we do not get it right the first time He gives us another one. He is so faithful.

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