About Alwonza

My name is Alwonza. I am an aspiring author who loves to journal.

Gay vs Smoking

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Gay vs Smoking – Which is worse?

I just did a Periscope on this topic.  The Lord gave me this lesson a few days ago.   I was afraid to go live and do it.  I just felt like I do not have a following and what am I going to say! Will people receive the message?  Will they receive what I am trying to say and get across to them? All this and more entered my mind.  Then God came in with truth and peace.

Right, you do not have a following.  If I do not ever get on and build I will always be thinking I have no following and wondering who will watch it.  Yes, they will receive the message because it is from Me.  Once I removed myself and believing that this was me speaking or doing this in my strength, God could come through.  All my thoughts conquered when the feeling to do this scope would not loose and I realized that I was running.  God filled me with the scriptures to use and then I wrote them down in the order that He gave them to me in.  I added nothing or removed anything.

I thank God for trusting me.

The scriptures are as follows:

Genesis 18

1 john 1:9

1 John 5:17

Matthew 15:11, 18, 20

Mark 7:20-23

2 Corinthians 6:16

Acts 7:47-49

Romans n1:21, 28-32

Acts 2:38

Romans 10:13

Luke 6:42

I had more trolls on this scope speaking than any other scope.  I did not erase them or block them or mention them.  Some fell off on their own – resist them and they will flee.  Another was on until the end.  They were just speaking because they assumed that I was anti-gay.  I am anti-sin.  So, as they focused on bashing the bible and me and gay and smoking I continued with what God gave me.  After I finished with what God was saying He allowed me to give my testimony.  I let them know that I too, was an alcoholic and chain smoker.  I let them know that when God called me in September 2015 I was lying next to my girlfriend of over a year.  No sin is greater than another.  The wages of all sin is death.  I am not here to judge.  To whom much is given much is required.  Therefore, God has forgiven me of my many sins and I offer this same forgiveness to people whom I know, or God says need it.

God does not like sin.  He loves His creation.  I love you as Christ loves you, His church.  Amen. Watch the video.  Read the scriptures.  Repent.  Call on the name of the Lord and you will be saved.  Saved from what?  From death.  Read the sins listed in Romans 1 and Galatians 5 and chose to do them no more.  That is how you stay saved.  As you consciously refuse sin you get closer to God.  His presence and His power.  You become filled with His Spirit.  He will lead you and guide you.

Say this prayer: Lord, thank you for choosing me. I believe that you are Jesus Christ, the Son of the living God and that you died on the cross for me.  Lord, I repent of my sins.  I turn from doing and committing sins.  Lord, forgive me of my sins, knowingly and unknowingly.  Lord, thank you.  Lord, by acknowledging you I call upon your name and you said that I should be saved.  I want to be saved from sin.  I believe through this prayer that you have come into my heart.  Thank you for hearing me.  In Jesus name I pray.  Amen.

Photo by Joshua Stitt on Unsplash

Accountability

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This photo has become my screen saver. My motivation. My focus point. As I scroll on my phone I will constantly be reminded of what I Ned to be doing. Sometimes I play Cookie Jam and Pet Rescue while I pray and wait on God. Now I will wait while writing. While doing what He is requiring of me.

I have often asked God what is my purpose. Well, I now know. I have been delivered of many spirits that have rose up against His will for me in my life. Now I am inexcusable, O man. ( Romans 2:1). God always provides a scripture. Gotta love Him.

So, I am writing this post today to be held accountable. To myself and to all who read this post. I have been disobedient in what the Lord has asked me to do.

I remember in December 2015, the Lord asked me to do Periscopes about what He tells me. They were to include revelations and daily devotionals and scriptures and whatever other words or lessons that He would have me to share. I did a few and then I fell off. I thought that they were too long. Then I thought that no one was interested.

Fast forward to November 2017, I had accumulated a myriad of excuses and the Lord removed them all. He had provided the MacBook pro and an environment to write in. I started again and then found many other reasons to not continue.  To not persevere. To not be diligent in His work.

Now, February 2018, I have no excuses.  He has provided the environment, money, time, and circumstance.  I have my motivation back. I am determined and focused. I have thought out a plan to remain on track.  My full-time job is driving for Lyft so I will drive at night and early mornings and I will write in the morning and afternoons.  I like this vision.  I actually see myself doing it and accomplishing what the Lord has set how to complete in me.

John 4:34  Jesus saith unto them, My meat is to do the will of him that sent me, and to finish his work.

Jesus lives in me, therefore I have all I need to do the will of Him that sent me.

Philippians 1:6  Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:

I know that Christ has called me to write and to Blog therefore it is a good work and He will continue this work min me until the day of Jesus Christ.  some may say, hey, I will be dead by then.  And my answer to that is that my work will still be continuing, long after my death.  A legacy for my children and for my children’s children and for their children and their children and their children…..  God is true and faithful and His word never dies.  It is alive.  So, until the day of Jesus Christ, you can believe that this work will not fall to the ground.

My motivation to myself right now is that God will send the people. As long as I am doing what He has called me to do then He shall provide the audience.  I was not called to write to myself or for myself but for all those that He sends.  therefore, all I believe I have to do is to write what He has supplied and the demand will be evident.

Thanks for reading.

Until next post…. Lord thank you for the revelation of your vision for me.  Lord I ask that all who read this and has a writing call upon their lives that it is activated.  I loose the bands that are holding them back.  Lord, I ask that you free their minds to be used by you and to hear your voice for their content.  Be blessed, in Jesus name amen.

Your Church Is Your Womb

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First, let us look at what a womb does and is.

A womb is found in women.  The womb carries life, a baby.  This baby comes from a seed of a man.  It is a place where life begins and grows.  As the body receives food for nourishment so does the baby.  After about four months the baby is felt.  Doctors calls this movement, QUICKENING.  From this moment on the movements become stronger and more frequent.  As your baby grows it will eventually be time for you to deliver which will allow you to see and hold and show off your baby.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quickening

In pregnancy terms, quickening is the moment in pregnancy when the pregnant woman starts to feel or perceive fetal movements in the uterus.[1]

Church is a woman.  The bride of Christ.  The Father, God, sends someone to plant a seed in us.  This can happen through meeting someone or hearing someone on tv or through curiosity of reading the bible or hearing directly from Him.  This is just a few but there is no limit to the way that the Father may draw you unto Himself.  Whatever method is used to get your attention is a type of seed that is placed into you, your belly, heart, mind, that puts your mind on Him.

Eph 5:29  For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

This seed, the method God used to get your attention, will begin to grow in you and show up as you wanting to know more about Him.  the more He draws you closer to Him the more you want to know Him.  you may just meet someone who really speaks what you want to hear, or you may go to church; either way you will KNOW or FEEL something within that will keep you interested.  hopefully, eventually, you will make it to church, join, accept the pastor as your leader and begin to grow.  This is spiritual growth.

The church is a place where life is sustained, and our spirit receives nourishment.  Now the pastor is feeding your spirit.  As your spirit and soul enjoy the word and believe what the pastor is teaching you your baby is growing.  At some point there will be a time when you feel something deep down in your belly; right where the baby lives and grows.  As you continue to grow and feed off of the word daily through tapes or videos, weekly through being at church, monthly as you continue to faithfully attend church regularly, yearly as you have joined and become a part of the church, your baby will continue to grow, and you will feel him more often.

Rom 8:11  But if the Spirit of him that raised up Jesus from the dead dwell in you, he that raised up Christ from the dead shall also quicken your mortal bodies by his Spirit that dwelleth in you.

As your baby grows, your spiritual baby, your thoughts on certain things begin to change.  God will give you ideas and creative thoughts on how to help the church or what ministry to join with in the church.  You will begin to desire to do more for the church.  For some, your seed, your baby maybe to write a book or to talk to strangers about Christ.  Your baby will begin to be seen by others.  As you grow, like with a natural baby, people will be able to see that you are pregnant.  Spiritually, your light will be seen.  The fact that God is with you and in you is being seen by others.  If it is writing or doing periscopes or vlogging or blogging, the more you hear Gods voice and be where you are growing, these will strengthen and become more prominent in your life.  You will begin to receive more instructions on how to accomplish what you are receiving from God.  What to do will become clearer.

Eventually, you will have to give birth.  Giving birth brings your baby visible.  You will be able to share your baby.  Others will be able to hold what God has given you; your book, people seeing you working in the church with grace and favor, the people you send to the church showing up, and/or your idea being funded.  The place where you go to church, the voice that you sit under and listen to faithfully, you should be noticing your growth.  Something should be growing in you, becoming stronger in you.  Something should be making you feel like, hey, I need to act on this.

If you are in a place and nothing is growing or moving or increasing in your life, move on.  If you feel led to speak to the pastor or leadership in the church, then do so.  Let them know that you do not feel like you are being fed through the word.  Do not make it seem as though what the pastor is teaching is not right.  It is. You have probably just outgrown the messages.  Begin to seek God more to see what He wants you to do.  He may want to send you somewhere else.  He may want you to challenge the teachings where you are.  He may leave you there and just introduce you to another person.  But you will never know if you do not ask Him.  Learn to worship.  Learn to just Wait on the Lord.  Learn to not ask anything from Him but to just listen for His voice.

The Word of God is life for us.  Every Word from God can feed us or quench our thirst.

Mat 5:6  Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.

If you want God to feed and give you drink you will be blessed.

Joh 4:14  But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life.

Joh 6:35  And Jesus said unto them, I am the bread of life: he that cometh to me shall never hunger; and he that believeth on me shall never thirst.

When you come to Jesus you will never be hungry for more of Him because He will keep you fed before you even fill hungry.

All you have to do is believe on Jesus and you will never be thirsty.  It is just that simple.

If you ever fill like you want more or are hungry after church, then ask yourself were you fed.  If you leave with questions unanswered, thirsty, ask yourself what word or scriptures were you given to meditate on or to study.  Start asking yourself questions about how you feel after church.  Start recognizing and paying attention to how you feel before, during the message, and after church.  These are ways that God may be speaking to you.  Get in a position to hear what He is saying to you about Your spiritual life.  Do not die and go to hell from the pew.

The picture below is me in the Spring of 2017.  I was not naturally pregnant.  I was spiritually pregnant.  God allowed me to experience what I was going through in the spirit, naturally.  I thank God for this.  This has not been the only tome that the Lord has desired to teach me like this.  I often experience, see and feel what the Lord is doing in my life spiritually, naturally.  I thank God for the way that He has chosen to speak with me.  Thank you Jesus.  amen

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Alwonza

Out With The Old…..

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The old. The black Bible on top. I received it on May 23, 2014. It is marked up. Colored. Written in. Pages folded and edges worn. It has seen many countries and places on just as many tables. It has been left, but never forgotten. The pages are tear stained. Crumbs and shedded hair in the creases of some pages. And has a used smell to it. There is no other way to say that my Thompson Chain-Reference Bible will be missed better than describing its condition. I am currently weaning myself from this good thing for another good thing.

My new Hebrew-Greek Kew Word Study Bible is big and heavy. I always thought that I would be downsizing my Bible instead of increasing it. The pages are all white and clean. No color present. New smell to get used to. Smaller margins. I love it.

My old Bible references differently. There were key words or points to follow. I could follow that idea all the way through the Bible just by locating that word or phrase in the margin. The text is continual without anything in between the words. Reading like a book. The print is smaller and more scriptures on the page. I feel like this bible held my hand as I read. Most of the studying was done all I had to do was follow. For identifying the Hebrew Greek Word in its original definition I would have to use my phone or online to look up the meaning; which has become a distraction at times. This version is more of learning how to read the Bible and meditation. Great for learning the scriptures; learning the stories and becoming acclimated with what it says.

My new Bible does not have those words or phrases linked for me. Words are already underlined and the Hebrew Greek number is placed within the text. So while reading I see words and numbers and small letters for references in the back of the Bible. The print is larger and the pages include history of the text. I feel like this Bible makes you seek and search out what the text is really speaking. The Hebrew Greek numbers are listed next to the words and an explanation of the verses are written at the bottom of the page. This Bible has the definitions included in the back of the Bible as well. This definitely takes away of the phone or online distraction. This version is more for studying. It has placed the background information and the context of the scripture easily, and readily at your fingertips. Great for knowing the ‘why’ and understanding it’s concepts.

Both their points chosen to reference are different.

Both can be used to study and meditate.

Both are fundamental because they say the same things.

I do believe that the intentions of the writer are portrayed throughout their writings. My new Bible is intended to study and my old Bible was intended to be used and reference. Each are written in that format.

So why did I get a new Bible? Well, the prophet said so. God confirmed it. I now have a new Bible. I was not seeking God’s confirmation but I was putting it off until the end of the next month. God did not agree as He led me to the Christian book store and led me directly to the book.

The Prophet has been preaching on maturity and growing up. Noting the differences above, to me, clearly allows me to see the differences in where I was and where He wants us to be. So to come up to his level I at least have to read what he read, as he reads it, like he reads it. I want to be equal to my master. I want to be able to do what he does. He is my manifestation of Jesus Christ in this time in my life. I believe him. I agree with him. I obey him. Did I want to. No. But obedience is better than sacrifice. Since having this Bible has opened me up to new questions. I want to know the why. I want to know about the time the Bible was written. I want to know the Word in context. Like most people I want not know the ‘why.’ This new Bible definitely provides this and more at my fingertips.

It was fun and I thought enough to be happy to hear the pastor preach on what I asked God. I would ask Him then wait for the Word to come across the pulpit with an explanation so I could understand it. Now, God has answered. Someone has already written out my questions and answered them. Now I can pull on the pastor for other information. My mind has opened up in a way that I never knew. I thought that I was doing good but this study bi me has taken me higher. Deeper. Another level.

All from just obeying and buying another type of Bible. That alone lets me know that I have matured in the Lord. That alone lets me know that God has answered me once again in allowing me to get closer to Him. Now I can read with understanding what it was like during his time on earth without having to look online or use multiple tools to seek Him out. I have already called my new Bible my online Bible.

My new Bible is thicker an fuller. Another key sign of maturing because as we grow from elementary to high school to college, so did the books. They became thicker and heavier. College books cost more and had a lot more information in them.

I thank God that he used the prophet to tell us to go get a new Bible. The prophet would not have us ignorant. Where he is taking us he is preparing us.

Lord I love you for all that you have done. I thank you for your man of God that you have placed over my life to lead and guide me. I thank you for wanting to give me your knowledge and understanding and wisdom.

Lord, I thank you and worship you and praise you. All of this will last because I do it all through Jesus, in His mighty name, Jesus Christ, amen.

First blog post

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I have started this blog to continue my journaling. I have been journaling for over 8 years.  I am now capturing my journaling into books.  For the remainder of the month of December, 2017, my journaling and my blogging will overlap.

This blog, with my full intentions, are to replace journaling for me.  I have captured a lot off line and now want to generate my content online.  I have tried blogging before and I really enjoyed it.  I did not continue with it because I got side tracked.  Since then, my focus and my maturity level have increased and I have come to know and realize that blogging is easier.  Journaling has been very convenient but transferring the content is not.

I am very excited about picking up blogging again.  This blog will mimic my journaling, which I hope will keep my mental transition to a minimum.  I have chosen this platform because I can use it anywhere; on my phone, laptop, library’s, borrowed gadgets, and more.  There is no limit to my posting.  Which, with my journaling, I was limited to my Apple devices, no libraries, and sometimes pen and paper.

The world is advancing.  New generations are being born everyday.  This era is growing more and more steadily to electronics.  I have to keep up; I have to get onboard or miss out.  Life will leave you behind and I refuse to be back there, straining to see what is happening in front of me.

So, on this blog, my day to day will be revealed.  People I encounter.  Places I go.  People I meet.  Lessons I learn and have learned and  how God uses me.  Nothing is limited because I live in a world, serving a God, of endless possibilities.

Of curse, I will keep you informed of the progress of my publishings and you, too, can hold me accountable.  I have over 10 books written but none published.  My goal this upcoming year is to publish 8 of them which will include my series of Conversations with God.

Conversations With God is comprised of 8 books, arranged chronologically, since 2015,  with one entry from 2012.  I have daily been capturing our conversations as He has led me through many valleys an over numerous hills.  He has defeated legions of Goliaths for me and brought down insanely high walls.  I have crossed many rivers and spent countless days and nights in the dessert.  Living in the wilderness has become the norm.  Trusting Him to have my back allows me to walk blindly, faithfully forward.  I grabbed hold of the plow and I ask myself who is my mother and my father.

And then, only after 2 years of gaining testimonies, did I realize it is not by works.  It is not the fasting, or the communions, the consecrations, the tests or the trials; it is the love that I have for my Heavenly Father and for everyone that I have and will cross paths with.  I learned this through journaling.  I learned this through relationship with the Father.  I learned this through obedience to Jesus Christ.  If it was of works I would boast but it is by grace through faith, which is a gift from God.  A gift, just because, He loved me first.  A gift I did not realize I had and that I could only open after He called me and brought it to my attention.  I love Him for it and you will witness that in this blog.

When I am not blogging I am posting on Instagram @alatoyav.

Welcome to Alwonza’s Blog 🙂