Colossians 1:27 – To whom God would make known what is the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles; which is Christ in you, the hope of glory:
If you are not a Jew you were a Gentile. God has made known the mystery of His glory unto us. It is all of Him. It is Himself. This hope of glory, Jesus Christ, is inside of us. Always remember that. No matter what you may be facing, you are never facing it alone.
Jesus is inside of you so you have everything you need.
You carry His name so use it to make your situation bow to you.
You carry His spirit so weak in tongues to build up your strength to endure.
You carry His character so people will flock to you to get to know more about him.
You carry Him with the Father in you therefore miracles and signs will follow you, pointing the way to back to Him.
With Him inside of you, speak His name over whatever is happening, build yourself up while speaking in tongues, be ready to tell others about him and turn around their situations to see the God in everything that you and that they do.
Jesus is that hope of glory. No matter what you are facing, no matter what the doctors said, no matter how that child is acting, and no matter what your friends speak about you – Jesus is that hope that you hold unto despite everything. He is that light that shines in that dark saying or situation. He is who turns everything around for His good.
The same Jesus that fed the people from 5 fishes to having 12 baskets leftover;
The same Jesus that told Peter were to cast off and catch more fish than his net could hold;
This is the same Jesus that has showed up for you. He will not take from you but will add to what you have or create something from nothing.
Why? Because this the same Jesus that healed the sick for free and fed those in need.
Jesus is in you therefore you have divine health with supernatural strength. Nothing can defeat you. You are a walking phenomenon.
Stand up straight with your head high and walk proudly knowing you are never alone.
Can you remember a time when you thought you were alone and then realized Christ was right there with you; dwelling on the inside of you?
Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.
Oh! What a mouth full. First, there is always a first; a beginning. We see that we have to submit ourselves to God. Before you even get to the devil you have to had already submitted to God. The verse before this mentions God giving grace to the humble so, first, stand strong in knowing what God has done for you.
Submission to God means to acknowledge Him in your life. Begin to thank Him for what He is already doing in your life. Acknowledge Him for what He has already done. You have probably been doing this already and by doing so you have gotten the devils attention.
So, continue to stand strong in God. Next, resist the devil. As the devil reminds you of your past mistakes and failures, do not go back to them. The devil cannot force you to do anything. If you have stopped doing something or given up bad habits, do not go back to them when the the devil confronts you with them. All he will do is place them before you in your mind and eyesight and all you have to do is focus on remembering what God is and has already been doing in your life.
Finally, as you resist the devil he turns and runs from you. He does not just walk away but he runs way. Why? Because he knows that the only way and reason that you are able to not give in is because you have submitted yourself to God. Once he realizes this he RUNS away.
Why would the devil runaway? Because he remembers what Jesus did to him before. Jesus, spoiled everything he had by destroying it; crushing it. He then gathered all the people and spirits around to see a public display of humiliation to him. Yes, Jesus publicly humiliated the devil and all his workers in his kingdom. Then, not only that, Jesus stripped the devil of his clothes! This is what happens to kings when they are defeated, and given mercy. They are humiliated but they keep their lives. Although they have their lives, everyone knows that they were defeated and basically become a laughing example for what happens when you go against a stronger kingdom.
You can find this information throughout the bible but also summed up in the New Testament in Colossians 2:15.
So remember, you just hold fast on thinking about God and the devil will run away from you like a dog with his tail tucked.
I love you and Jesus does, too.
Can you think of a time you ever stood on God and your life got better?
The Lord gave this scripture to me in the Message Translation of the Bible as I was driving.
I listened to Prophet Uebert Angel today and he released a 48 hour blessing for those standing with Major 1 & Mum, who are Prophet Shepherd Bushiri and his wife Prophetess Mary Bushiri. Prophet Uebert Angel posted earlier this month to post daily, until the 29th, that we love them and to post a picture and to use certain hashtags. I purposely did it daily to my social media.
I love God.
Today after listening to Prophet Uebert Angel I went to Starbucks. I spent the day adding my name to the bottom of my pictures that I took from my online store, www.iambeautified.org.
Before finishing up with the photos, I wanted some Cici’s pizza. It was now after 8 pm and I arrived at the restaurant at 8:48 pm. I went to one that was 11 miles from my home. Online it said that it was open until 11 pm but the door said until 9 pm. It started to pour down rain, with thundering and lightning, in Arizona, as soon as I pulled up to Cici’s. I went inside and the workers were mopping and had pizza left at the pizza bar. I still wanted some pizza. She then said that I can take as much as I like and handed me a box to fill it up full of pizza. I filled it up.
I took as much as I wanted. Flavors I never had or thought I would not like. (overflow)
I went to a gas station that was $.10 cheaper than the others. (Tithe)
Earlier today while listening to the prophet I understood why I drove for Postmates last week. My daughter called me this morning and asked for some money. I had plenty to give her. Extra left over for me. (revelation)
Today while driving I also got another idea of how and what to make my online course about. (power to get wealth)
As I was thanking God for what I was able to see Him doing in my life, He gave me the words of this scripture: on the heels of the other. He also told me it was in the Message Translation of the Bible. I Googled it and it was true.
Amos 9:13-15 The Message (MSG)
13-15 “Yes indeed, it won’t be long now.” God’s Decree.
“Things are going to happen so fast your head will swim, one thing fast on the heels of the other. You won’t be able to keep up. Everything will be happening at once—and everywhere you look, blessings! Blessings like wine pouring off the mountains and hills. I’ll make everything right again for my people Israel:
“They’ll rebuild their ruined cities.
They’ll plant vineyards and drink good wine.
They’ll work their gardens and eat fresh vegetables.
And I’ll plant them, plant them on their own land.
They’ll never again be uprooted from the land I’ve given them.”
God, your God, says so.
This is definitely my life right now.
Thank you Jesus for your BLESSING.
I noticed my life suddenly start to change when I finished writing my free book P.R.A.Y. As soon as I typed the last stroke a release came over me and ideas, strength and prosperity has followed.
on the heels of the other:
1. Started my online store
2. Finished my free ebook
3. Hired first employee
4. Started next business opportunity
All this in one week.
Blessings like wine pouring off the mountains and hills:
The heavy rain with lightning and thundering.
My evening was written a long time ago by a prophet named Amos.
I asked God today why did it take me 7 months to understand the angel that appeared unto me in my room.
In January, I had a dream of a little angel appearing at the foot of my bed in the entrance of my closet. The angel then moved to my side of the bed next to me.
I woke up from the dream and scooted to the top of my bed saying I am not afraid, I am not afraid. I was saying this because in the Bible when angels appeared they said fear not so the first thought and words from me were what were written.
The angel did not speak and since then I felt like something left me. Like my visions went away. I stopped seeing angels everywhere. I used to see them almost daily. It was normal for me to see them and abnormal if I did not.
Since that dream in January 2019, I have only had a few angel appearances. Yes, I know they are there always but their manifestation is what I’m talking about. I never lost them being around, but for months I could not see them. I attributed that to that experience in January 2019.
This morning, Prophet Uebert Angel spoke about the enemy and how he can do nothing to us. He took us the verses in Isaiah 14:15-16.
Summarized, it says that will squint to see the devil and then ask ourselves is this the man that made the earth to tremble, that did shake kingdoms.
The devil is extremely small and we will squint to see him. Not only that but Prophet Uebert Angel drove into us what Jesus did for us on the cross. He took us to Colossians 2:15 and Hebrews 2:14.
At this moment, shortly before typing this I have realized what visited me that night in January 2019. He was a short man. I kept asking God why did he look different from all the other angels. I have seen angels; he looked different. His presence was different and I did not associate it with any other angelic visitation or manifestation. I knew something was different.
Finally, I have my answer. That angel was the enemy. Satan is locked up in chains. I know that, we know that, I believe that. But I saw this and it was real.
Many men and women have been visited and awaken to that. I never thought I would be me.
Again, I asked God, why did it take so long for me to get an understanding, to be enlightened about this appearance and visitation. I had to get a un understanding. I had to get it preached to me. I had to get the scripture for it. I NEEDED THE WORD. Prophet Uebert Angel was the one God sent to me to hear it through. I am forever grateful.
*how can we hear without a preacher: Romans 10:14-15. Yes, this scripture context is what people use for calling on the name of the Lord and being saved. I called on God and He saved me. I believe that I am in context with this scripture.
*Faith comes by hearing, hearing the Word of God: Romans 10:17. My faith was knowing that this was real and spiritual. I trusted God for the answers that I looked for. Now that I have heard the scripture and read it for myself, I have a firm foundation and something to stand on.
Hearing scripture through the prophet and reading the scripture for myself. I have not remembered the scripture in my head but it entered into my spirit and filled the void that I was seeking to fill. That scripture located a question that I had asked God about. That scripture has not returned unto God void because it surely completed what it was sent to do. That scripture answered an answer for me and delivered me through knowledge of the Word which is more knowledge of and about Jesus Christ. Isaiah wrote of the description of the enemy for such a time as I would need, this day, his future my present, 2019.
I did have another dream, last night, about this same enemy standing in my living room – then it was real and I was standing there, knowing something was there.
But one thing I know-I will never have to fight them. Why? Because Jesus already defeated them. Defeated an enemy that is already defeated is foolish. The first time I quoted scripture. That’s all I knew. This time I still knew scripture but more scripture-Ephesians 6, that says to put on the full armor of God and to just stand there. In my dream last night that is what I did. I paced my floor, pointing my finger, knowing something was there but was now gone.
That dream last night, I did not even wake up. My sleep was not disturbed. I handled it in my dream and took no thought about it today when I woke up.
I give no space to the enemy – in when I sleep.
This is the importance of having the word in you, in your spirit, not just memorized in your head, which is your flesh.
Either way, Jesus already defeated the enemy and I would look like a fool trying to fight him again.
In Part 1 I capture my conversation with God. I talk about how I presented to Him a fast and how I knew when He accepted it. While on this fast I was tempted through my own desires and I was tested about keeping my word. I failed on both levels more than once. The Lord showed Himself mightily through His Grace and Mercy. He kept presenting me with moments to pass until I caught the revelation and the lesson embedded in the test.
Part 2 reflects the continuation of bringing this lesson to light from spiritual to manifesting in the natural. My conversation continues and picks up where it progressed.
Now let me get closer to you through fasting. Amen. At the beginning I wanted to be with Him. I didn’t understand how but now I do.
If I would have kept going, I too, would have lied over soup as Jacob lied to Isaac over venison soup.
It’s getting deep. Real deep.
My conversation with God:
God says, “I lied to my father.”
I ask, “Lord what did I lie to my natural father about?”
I told my natural father that I was going silent on this fast. But I have been speaking to people. Thank you, Jesus.
I told my natural father that I was doing no food no water. Thank you, Jesus.
My natural father represents God, my Father, in this scenario so I apply everything to God, as my Father to see where have I lied to God.
I ask, “Lord what have I lied to you about?”
I am reminded that: I lied to God about saying I am going to fast these weeks with no food and water and I ate and drank for four days straight.
On Thursday, December 13, I ate meat. Steak. Trying to convince the Father (like Jacob did to Isaac) like I was still fasting although I was eating after 6 pm, which was not a part of the vow that I made with Him to fast. I offered to Him a fast of no food or water. He honored it by making my bowels soft so that I would not be constipated or have hard stools when I ended my fast. To God be the glory.
I thank God for many chances. He speaks two and three times.
I have repented in the name of Jesus amen.
This thing manifested. It gets juicy after this.
I hit a buck. A male deer on November 8, 2018.
Venison is meat and I ate meat on Thursday night and became nauseous and got a headache. I asked God was it high blood pressure or diabetes. Nope. It was because I was lying to to God. With meat. Remember, Jacob lied to his father over Venison soup. Venison is deer meet.
This morning I bought a plane ticket to go get my car back from Buick. They repaired it. My SUV has been repaired and released for me to go get amen. Thank you Jesus. I received my breakthrough and release before I knew how or what I even went through. The Lord woke me up and led me online to purchase my ticket and get back what I rightfully gave over to the enemy. I handed it to him. He did not steal it. He walked right up to me with some soup and I handed it over to him. Now I am going back to get what is mine. AUTHORITY.
That deer stood as tall as my suv.
That’s how big this lie was. To God. And it stopped me in my tracks.
That lie has held me up. Cost me money from renting cars and taking Lyft.
Cost me my relationship with Christ, my Father.
This lie was that big and cost me my relationship with the Father because a liar will not tarry in His sight.
I could not get close to see the Father face to face because I lied. Had I known the scriptures I would have seen that this was a tactic of the enemy. SOUP. Still till this day. SOUP.
Then this week a lie starting out. A lie to my natural father of no food and no water. A real lesson learned.
That is why that deer was so big and tall and stopped me in my tracks.
But God is a redeemer. He loves us. So He allowed me to kill what was hindering me. I killed that deer when I hit it. It tried to kill me. My lie manifested and what the devil thought for evil God has used to educate me so that I will not perish for lack of knowledge. Thank you Jesus.
I killed all soups that the enemy has used for my family. My family not being able to fast is over. That trick and lie of the enemy is defeated. It cost me money and time and face time with God. No more. The fact that I ate 2 soups means that the enemy used it twice in my family. Generational.
It got me 2 years ago but I defeated it this year. For my family. Stealing and lying through soup is not our portion. My children will never suffer with fasting. It is easy to them.
My parents can now fast in peace. With strength. Not being tempted of the enemy with Soup, a scheme he thought of many years ago.
God is good. Amazing.
A venison soup was used to lie to his father, Isaac, and soup was used for me to lie to my Father, God.
And I hit a deer. My lie manifested and God kept me.
Now I can go before the Father in Spirit and in Truth
Now my visitation with Him can happen. Now I am expecting. Now I have my breakthrough. I broke through that lie when I hit that deer and it did not kill me. God preserved me.
My breakthrough into the throne room.
A liar cannot tarry in Gods sight.
My lies are done.
Done away with.
I can now approach the throne of God.
I now can see and expect my visitation(s). Everyday.
Angels. Angelic beings.
The Lord has been preparing me for this breakthrough and today I will meet my Savior face-to-face.
Forgive yourself. Do not beat yourself about what you did Not know.
Read what His Word says. He continually forgives His children.
God knew what we would do when He created us. He already forgave us. Its included in His blood.
Know who you are. and BELIEVE it.
Knowing whose we are allows us to walk with God- as Adam did.
As Christ did……And Christ in us allows us to walk with Him today.
Because I Iied
Opened the door for high blood pressure.
Now becoming the salt of the earth was now turning salt against me.
Nauseous – not wanting to eat meat or seasoning.
Thinking God is saying I’m vegan or vegetarian – not the way I felt after eating meat.
Pressure in head behind ears
Feel like head is about to explode
Speaking lies over self. Speaking death over self about how I feel
Repeating story to others confirming lies of self.
Having others agree with me about me.
Now delivered. I now renounce affects of the lie.
Closing portals and gateways.
Renouncing lies spoken of myself
I can now tarry in God’s sight because I am no longer a liar.
Speaking life over me
Speaking opposite of everything I said about me negative
I come out of agreement with those who agreed with me.
When Jacob was no longer known as a liar his name changed. An angel appeared that he wrestled with and changed his name before blessing him.
The Lord on yesterday showed me my name LaToya. I love Alwonza because it is different and unique. LaToya means victory. Triumphed. He showed me my new name yesterday. This morning He released me to go get my car. Tonight He revealed what held me up from His presence-a lie on Him.
Today I took a nap on my pillow as Jacob did and saw God standing at the top of the ladder and angels ascending and descending.
As I type this I am meditating on Mark 6:41 with reference to Matthew 26:26. God came Himself to feed much people and his disciples. He moved with compassion.
He too has moved with compassion on me to reveal to me what was separating me from Him. He wants me in his presence. His compassion on my requests to be in his presence has caused Him to come himself in me. I am broken. Fasting. Eating with Him is spiritual food. Manna in me from His tabernacle in me. His dwelling place in me. Which is reading His word.
His word is good to me.
He has moved with compassion towards me as I looked up to heaven to commit my body as a living sacrifice. His body that dwells in me as a living sacrifice. And God the Father honored it. And broke me even more and multiplied Himself in me. Multiplied Himself in me looks like more of Him. More of His characteristics. I traded my lies to Him and He took them and replaced them with truth. The Holy Spirit. His Holy Spirit. Galatians 5:23. To bear more of His fruit. No more lies. I gained truth. And compassion. Compassion for myself. Growing in Him that I have more compassion for His people that He may be seen more in me. Through me.
Giving me compassion. Showing me compassion makes me want to show compassion to others. As He did it for me I will do it for others. To much is given much is required.
This compassion that I was shown is to feed His people. People who followed Him like sheep without a shepherd. I will teach many things then send them away with bread. Bread from me. Bread from above. Broken. Broken through faith after looking up to the Father.
Miracles. This faith is miracles.
Compassion = faith = miracles.
Faith is a fruit of the spirit. Obtained through brokenness. Humbleness. Compassion.
Today Prophet Shepherd Bushiri prayed that we receive the Spirit of Faith. 12/14/2018. 1 Corinthians 12 faith.
The Spirit of Faith. A Power gift. Faith miracles and healing. Faith is the dominant of the three.
Isiah 29:24. They that erred in spirit. I erred but God had a scripture for me. I came into understanding. And He counted it as faith. Isaiah 29:22. God redeemed Abraham. Jacob shall not be ashamed. Jacob was a liar. I was a liar and neither of us shall be ashamed. Isaiah 29:23. When I see God’s children and the work of Him through my hands, I shall sanctify His name and fear the God of Israel (Jacobs new name). Amen.
God again gets all of the glory. Even when the enemy thought he was ahead and thought perhaps he got one of God’s children ensnared and bound and captured through and with a lie. God said not so. And God gets all of the glory.
Out of the lie came compassion with a reward of the gift of faith.
God gets all of the glory. Amen. And amen.
Today is 3/13/2019, Wednesday. On Sunday past my Pastor declared that we walked into the Supernatural. The Supernatural requires Faith. You have to believe what you see. This blog post was written on 12/24/2019 but I was not able to post it until now. I thank God for His timing.
Birthright – A privilege from birth. Just because you were born.
12/14/2018 at 9:46 pm. This blog entry is from my journal. When I journal I receive revelation and learn as I write. They are my thoughts at the time and what I perceive as Christ’s answers and how we flow as we speak.
I sold my birthright twice to John. I did not realize it at the time so let me explain what I mean.
I am fasting no food and no water for several weeks. A week before I told God that I wanted to fast. Of course we know it was truly His unctioning. So I presented to Him when I would start and how long and what it would consist of: I chose January 6, to end it, to consume no food or water, and I would start on Monday, December 10. On December 8, He liquefied my bowels. Very subtly. On Sunday I ate nothing. I knew everything was starting – on His timing. This is what I presented to God and He accepted. I know that God accepted because he liquefied my bowels. One thing about long fasts is that after you come off of the fast your bowels may be very hard and dry. One of my requests before I fast is that the Lord naturally do this for me. I do not like taking laxatives or drinking teas or even preparing by minimizing what I eat before I begin a fast. I trust God. And this is one of the ways that He shows me that He has accepted it.
12/10/2018 Monday – Official start date
John (not his name) showed up on day 1 of my fast with a bowl of chicken noodle soup. I was getting over some flu like symptoms. Because of the way that I felt I really believed that the Lord was telling me to eat this soup. I believed that the Lord had provided a neighbor to sustain me and help restore my health. I thought it was from God since it was right on time.
When I took the soup from John, I walked into my kitchen to place it on the counter. The moment that I did I began to cry. Emotionally overwhelmed. All I heard from God was, “I just want to be with you.” I was like ok. I’m coming but why am I crying. Why are you crying. I knew that they were not my tears. I knew they were from Him. I replied, “I just want to be with you, too.” So I placed the bowl and crackers down and went back to my bedroom to relax and get back to Him. The tears ceased.
During this worship time I kept asking Him what did He mean? I reminded Him that I did not understand. He never answered.
I ate the soup after 6 pm believing that that is what He wanted me to do.
I ate some potted meat with crackers and drank some tea. I saw myself eating that so when 6 pm rolled around I ate and drank. Believe it or not my spirit was vexed and I knew it. I did not feel right but because I saw myself eating the potted meat I continued. I drank the tea because in my spirit I also felt like I was to drink some tea. For some reason I knew that he wanted me to drink some tea. So I did with my potted meat after 6pm. I chose 6pm because I felt that He changed my fast to an eat after 6pm fast.
John shows up with a bean and ground beef with tomatoes soup. I ate it. While eating this I cried. My spirit was so vexed. But because of the circumstances I continued. This is Bible study night and the Lord just had me waiting around my house. I felt like I needed to drink some warm tea before leaving. While preparing my tea, John shows up. He brings me another soup. It is after 6 so I begin to eat it. I cry and do not feel right but I really felt like it was the Lord speaking. I do not want to finish it but I do. I eat the crackers and drink the tea and then leave for church.
Now for the lesson to begin:
The Lord honored this no food no water fast by liquefying my bowels in preparation for this fast. After the chicken noodle soup, I knew something. I felt something but didn’t know exactly what it was. After I ate the chicken noodle soup and the Lord liquefied my bowels again as to say I’m giving you a second chance to get it right. Yes, I had another soft stool to clean me out. All naturally. All the Lord’s doing.
Yet, I ate again on Tuesday. I saw myself eating potted meat. Now, just because I saw myself does not mean that I should have. I could have been seeing it because He was showing me what I was doing. I am learning from what I see. I used to believe that if I saw it it must mean that the Lord ok’d it. I’m learning.
This whole fast is a learning lesson. The Lord told me to drink tea after 6 pm on Monday. When I heard that I felt off in my spirit but I agreed. I now know what that off feeling feels like and what it means. I’m learning. Because of agreeing to drink the tea after 6 pm, that is when I agreed that the chicken soup had to be from God. I can now see the progression. I agreed with the voice to drink the tea so the next move was to get me to eat. Then on Wednesday He has me waiting and then John shows up with some beans and beef soup as the Lord tells me to have some tea before church on Wednesday.
Why has the Lord taken this fast time to teach me?
Is this voice really from the Lord?
Why is my Fast not going the way it should?
Ok. Something is happening. I check myself and I know what I have felt and what the Lord has been leading me to do. Yes, the Lord has chosen this fast to teach me a lesson. Not just a lesson but to deliver me from ignorance, to remind me of who I am and what belongs to me, and the scheme of the enemy. I really have been hearing the Lord and His voice has led me right into deliverance. Right where He wanted and needed me to be. I am growing and He is teaching. Thank you Holy Ghost. If this fast was mine and to me then it would be going the way that I wanted it to go: me reading, resting, studying, meditating, not eating or drinking, and feeling like I am on top of this fast. But from the beginning the Lord let me know that this was not so for this fast. This has only been the first week!
Today, I tell John, no to eating spaghetti because I am fasting. I have received revelation and with it came strength.
So today I don’t eat. I go to get some water and I feel like nope. This is my fasting. I was reading this morning Prophet Shepherd Bushiri’s book called Sleeping Near the Ark and in the tabernacle is manna. God keeps us fed by the manna from the ark. The ark within me. Jesus is that bread of life. Therefore I shall not eat. I have done it before and I’m doing it now. The Lord has kept me before. Thank you Jesus.
I am starting my new year strong, with a strong foundation, by ending it building the strong foundation.
What birthright did I sell? My identity and dominion (authority). Let me explain how I came up with these.
Adam and Eve sold theirs for a piece of fruit as well.
Genesis 3:17 – And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it:
Disobedience from eating. Through eating. The enemy has been using this same ol’ trick from the beginning of mankind. When God told Adam not to eat the fruit of that tree was the same thing He told me when He agreed to accept my fast request: Do Not Eat. I disobeyed. I lost my God-given birthright of dominion.
What Dominion? Through this act of disobedience I allowed for witchcraft to come in. I allowed for the enemy to have control over my thoughts. The lust of my flesh, which was to eat, prevailed. My disobedience was blatant rebellion. I chose to trust eating over what I knew was right. I allowed for another way of thinking
1 Samuel 15:23 – For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry.
Esau sold his for some soup. He was so hungry that he agreed to give his birthright to his younger brother for some food.
Genesis 25:31-34 – and Jacob said, Sell me this day thy birthright. And Esau said, Behold, I am at the point to die: and what profit shall this birthright do to me? And Jacob said, Swear to me this day; and he sware unto him: and he sold his birthright unto Jacob. Then Jacob gave Esau bread and pottage of lentiles; and he did eat and drink,…..
I came up with my birthright because my meal on Wednesday was beans, soup and crackers. Jacob fed Esau bread and lentils soup. Lentils are beans. See the comparison. I did not at first but now I do.
Now this is where it gets real. Even realer. After the rebellion and witchcraft comes stubbornness as iniquity and idolatry. After Jacob received the birthright he then went and lied to his father, Isaac. This lie was to steal the blessing of the birthright. So now that Jacob had it spoken to him from his elder brother, he now needed it to manifest in his life from a blessing from his father. Father’s are the ones who pass on the birthrights before they die.
Jacob lied to Isaac over Venison soup. My God. Iniquity (immoral behavior). Another soup. This is nothing new.
Genesis 27:19 – And Jacob said unto his father, I am Esau thy firstborn; I have done according as thou badest me: arise, I pray thee, sit and eat of my venison, that thy soul may bless me.
Both were meals and I sold mine twice to the same person for some soup. I missed it on Monday and Wednesday but caught it on Friday. Thank you Jesus.
That was the Old Testament and God has redeemed my birthright back through Him living in me. In the name of Jesus. Therefore I do not accept that I sold my birthright. I have my birthright. My inheritance through Jesus Christ as heir and joint heir.
Dominion. We lost dominion through the first Adam but regained it back through the second Adam. Jesus went into the wilderness 40 days led of the Holy Ghost and He was with the wild beasts. There. Right there is where we got our dominion back. Amen. As Adam was with the wild beasts so was Jesus.
I know who I am and I know that trick of the devil. He often uses food. When I came off of my fast in 2015/2016 December it was because of food. Beans in a soup from the crockpot. I made a bean soup and broke my fast 8 days early.
I thank you Jesus for revealing during the first week. Amen
This showed up and gave me hope and understanding. I am the salt of the earth.
If I don’t make this fast who will. It is not for me.
If I lose my savor then what.
The enemy wants me to believe that I lost my birthright. I then go right over to the New Testament and shine all over him. Smother him and cover him with identity scriptures. I know who I am. I know what Christ dying for me means. I own up to it.
Galatians 4:7 – … an heir of God through Christ.
Romans :17 – And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ;..
Galatians 2:20 – I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me….
I did not realize this on my own. I was taught it. I won the battle over my identity last February 2018 with Jennifer LeClaire and Ryan Johnson when I received the knowledge of what it was. Before that Pastor Gools daughter in North Carolina explained it very well. I have in me everything that I need to walk in my identity.
My flesh nor the enemy can get me through food anymore when it comes to fasting. I declare this. I am aware of this tactic from the enemy.
Ephesians 6:11 – Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. (niv)
There is nothing new under the sun. Who knew SOUP would still be used by the enemy amen. There is a scripture for everything. Thank you Jesus for revelation.
Now let me get closer to you through fasting. Amen. At the beginning I wanted to be with Him. I didn’t understand how but now I do.
Ok, this is where I end Part 1. The Lord has been faithful to me and has shown me grace and mercy through my learning Him. Do not think that the Lord teaches you and holds you accountable-No- He is Grace. He gives us a space to learn from. We do have tests in Him and He grades on the curve. He is so just that if we do not get it right the first time He gives us another one. He is so faithful.
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Last night at church during deliverance and healing I thought about my lifestyle of perversion and justified it. I remember my pastor mentioning that we have to call it by name. Mine WAS homosexuality. I mentally thought, ‘no, not them. They haven’t done anything bad to me.” I associated deliverance with pain. It took a moment, but I finally added ex-girlfriends to the list and through God’s grace I know that root was cauterized, too. Exposed and cauterized. Soul ties, gone. Thank you, Jesus. I realized after service that God is on my side, He is not against me. My church is Heart Of Worship Ministries
End of Journal Entry
I believe in gateways, entry points. I wasn’t born homosexual I became homosexual. Through generational curses, molestations, porno, prostitution, CURIOSITY, and lust. I always wanted more. One might think that my vagina had gone through enough, that I shouldn’t keep wanting to use it. But on the contrary; my vagina was consuming me. The more I refused to entertain it the more I became curious in other ways to entertain myself. After a while I was out of control and ended up in the arms of a pimp. I enjoyed the fame and lifestyle, but the work was what I did not want to do. I had a house, so I housed prostitutes and watched a week-old baby while the mama left. I was transporting them around. One night I got up to go get the mom and realized that I left the baby in the house.
“I thought, how could I go get the mama without her baby?”
I got out the car and went in to get the baby. I know she would have cared if I showed up without her baby, she loved her baby. I just had totally forgot I was babysitting. If you thought, like I did, how is she able to work after giving birth last week? Well, easy. A woman has three holes and two hands and between a man and a woman there is a very lucrative imagination.
Before and after the pimp I was introduced to women through the men who recognized my curiosity. With me, it was because I was so willing to engage that it wasn’t too hard to recognize in me that I would probably go along with it. Trois and Quad’s were not all that fun anymore. After climbing that ladder, coming down was hard. People don’t want to deal with you when you start to say no. I wanted the company and lifestyle, but I just didn’t want to do the work anymore.
Eventually, I got married, twice, after this, divorced twice, and left men altogether. That is how I related hurt to men and thought women would be better. The transition wasn’t hard at all.
It was September 2015. Don’t ask me how I knew but I knew it was God who was correcting and bothering me about my girlfriend. A voice would speak to me and told me what I was doing was wrong. It actually told me that I was going to go to hell. I grew up in a church that reminded you that hell was real, so I had a fear of that place already. Well, during this month I could not take it anymore. Our relationship was already over one year old and we were living together. One night I told her I could not do this anymore. She left the next day. Yes, I hurt. I cried.
Just like the girls before her, I had made the decision not to stay so I caused the pain. I never associated them as wrong because they did not cause me pain that resulted in separation. I controlled the exits.
So, last night in church during deliverance and healing I did not add them to my list of names. While I was calling out names of people or instances or circumstances that needed healing, I just did not think that I needed healing of ex-girlfriends. I was wrong.
Just because I did not feel pain did not give them a right to stay.
Yes, I’m saved and speak in tongues but when we give space to the enemy, no matter how small or tight that corner is, he takes it. He moves in and starts growing; stretching out. Any light in that area becomes less and darkness grows until it manifests outwardly. That became my life until last night.
No more perversion or its friends hanging around my head any more. I had not engaged in homosexuality acts since September 2015, but the lust and thoughts tormented me. Many women and men of God saw it and laid hands but never exposed the root nor explained anything. One decided not to call it by name because he did not want to embarrass me.
So last night my pastor, Pastor Denard Street, just spoke to the church. Softly. He identified different aspects of different roots and basically asked did we want to let them go. After providing us with scripture and knowledge he just simply allowed us to make a decision. I always heard that I needed to want to let go of some things but to be told that with knowledge is profound. PRICELSS. I made an educated decision not an emotional one. So liberating.
John 8:36 – If the son therefore shall make you free, you shall be free indeed.
Many times, I have just thought about what was wrong or sin in my life and they left. No more problems with doing those things. I had control over those things. Deliverance was just that, a thought. But I also realized that all I decided to do was to stop doing those things. That did not mean that they were no longer there to bother me, I just chose to not participate in them. There is a difference.
Now I am free and free indeed.
If you are ever in the Arizona, area my church is Heart of Worship Ministries, Pastor Denard Street.
Today as I was praying the Lord was leading me into my kitchen. He got me in there by showing me my belly. Food. So, I thought, ok, I’ll go eat. I place my leftover Chipotle into the microwave and shift. I go to get some water. I fill up my cup but as I place the cap back unto the water I realize that some spice from my finger is on now on it. The Lord has my attention.
I move to take the water to my room. Yes, I thought I was going to be eating bedside. I come back into the kitchen because I remember the tea that is in my refrigerator. I believe the Lord wants me to have some tea.
I reach for the cabinet.
I grab both doors at the same time.
I pull them open towards me.
The doors open.
I see the cups. (naturally)
Both arms open wide with doors in hand.
My eyes open and there are the cups. (spiritually)
I release the doors.
The anointing, a wave of air, a presence, a feeling hits me.
I recognize it as the Lord and as I am ushered in I weep.
My arms are free of the doors and I drop my head and I began to weep. My arms are outstretched, and I visualize Christ on the cross. I know His presence but this posture that I am in I want to stay in, so I began to repent. I say, “Lord forgive me. Lord, I repent for sins known and unknown.” I repent because I want to stay in His presence. I want to receive what He is saying. Now repenting is just my way of a “coverall.” From experience, this has worked for me in the past.
I now receive. As I look up and open my eyes the Lord reminds me of:
2 Kings 4:3. Then he said, Go, borrow thee vessels abroad of all thy neighbours, even empty vessels; borrow not a few. (KJV)
When I read this verse, I see many different vessels. Many different colors and many different sizes and shapes. The same in my cabinet. As I chew this verse and swallow it and bring it back again, meditate, I apply it to my life. Right now, I am about to make an investment. God says, go borrow. I think of from whom and where and how. I have no credit cards. I have been reviewing my credit and wanting to reestablish it. As this widow received word from the prophet Elisha to go borrow to start her own business so shall I. I will use the borrowed money to start what I believed has been placed into my hands to do.
I used to think that borrowing was so wrong because I am the head and not the tail; I am a lender and not a borrower. Those verses are wonderful, however, they stuck me. I stayed and lived on those scriptures getting rid of credit cards and waiting for – more.
When reading the word of God, I never saw this widow as a borrower. I never caught that part of the verse. I read it and skimmed over it in mind and understanding. No more! My understanding came when I opened my cabinet and saw the many vessels that I already have. I have already borrowed. I already have in my house, in me, what I need to become an entrepreneur.
2 Kings 4:2. And Elisha said unto her, What shall I do for thee? tell me, what hast thou in the house? And she said, Thine handmaid hath not any thing in the house, save a pot of oil. (KJV)
I carry the oil. I have the vessels. I have a word from the prophet.
The Oil– the anointing
The Vessels-I have borrowed; knowledge, wisdom, and understanding from all those before me. Naturally, preachers, teachers and speakers. Spiritually, the Word of God and revelation through reading, fasting, and praying. I have what it takes to do what God has called me to do. Amen.
The word from the prophet-GO. A command to move. An instruction. Furthermore, obedience. This scripture of inspiration becomes my foundation. I can now say that I have a word to act on. A scripture to lunge forward from. A revelation to stand on.
Go and Borrow was the first command (2 Kings 4:2, KJV)
Go and Sell was the second command. (2Kings 4:7, KJV)
This photo is the flight deck of the ship that I was stationed to. I was standing on this platform when I saw the vision of the man jumping ship.
Me again with one foot in and the other one out. (not sure who the guy is)
Why I went AWOL – God told me to.
I was in the Navy and went to work like any other day. Got there early and found my way to the flight deck. It was the end of June, so we would all gather outside on the top of the ship; the part where helicopters landed. As we were lining up I saw out of the right corner of my eye a man jumping ship. It was so real that I told my friend in front of me. I said, “I just saw a man jump.”
Yes, she believed me. At this time in my life I was seeing things and hearing things and learning, Jesus. I didn’t know much about visions (opened or closed) or the prophetic. I wasn’t being taught by anyone because we spent so much time on the ship. My basic time with Jesus was reading and praying and fasting. As I was seeing things and hearing voices I just believed them. So, when I saw that man jump over ship in the spirit I wondered what it meant. Below, I share one day from my journal about how it came to be, me, going AWOL.
Jump ship means to run. Amen. Run from whom? The ship? I was talking to my friend. Amen when the Lord spoke it and showed me the vision amen. @0426
Lord send me I’ll go, draw me I’ll come.
Draw me: call me. Yes Lord. Amen.
Call me to what Jesus:
Amen. I do not answer God fast enough. Amen
The Lord is my covering. Amen. He is my protection. He is my shepherd. Psalm 23
Song. Safe in his arms. Milton @0445
What honors the Lord the most. Amen.
Run as fast as I can to evangelizing amen. God will cover me. Protect me. Lord. Where do I send your people?
Lord I just ask that you never leave. No Lord. You have never left me. Yes Lord. Send me I will go. I will run. Amen.
My name is Alwonza I AM. Thank You Jesus
God called me a nomad. Amen.
Nomad: having no permanent abode. Amen
Travel from place to place to find fresh pasture; does not stay long in the same place. A wanderer. (Dictionary.com)
The Lord gave me this word for the first-time last night. I thought it was something bad amen. As the world has trained me to perceive. Amen. But the Lord is using it for the good. Amen. @0514
While typing about nomad the Lord told me what jumping ship meant. Amen. To go AWOL
End of journal entry.
I wake up to pray before work and the Lord speaks to me about what He said the day before. As He speaks I write and ask questions. 30 minutes later I have another Word – AWOL.
4:25 am – I gave the vision back to the Lord.
4:28 am – Before I heard from God I had agreed to run.
4:41 am – The Lord speaks Psalm 23 to me. He is my covering, protection, shepherd.
He sings to me the song by Reverend Milton Brunson – Safe in His arms.
4:46 am – He speaks to me the word- OBEDIENCE
4:49 am – This journey will be me evangelizing as fast as I can. I encourage myself by speaking God will cover me and protect me. I build my faith for this moment. I then turn and ask God not to leave me which is something that He said He would never do. My faith wavered. God spoke to me and I answered Him by saying, “No Lord……” – He asked me has He ever left me? Then He asks me will I go, and I say, “Yes, Lord….I will run.
He gives me His surname – I AM. Alwonza I AM.
5:11 am – After He called me He then describes me. Calling me a nomad basically describes my journey; my path. As a nomad I would have no place to sleep or stay.
5:15 am – In the middle of writing my understanding down the Lord continued to speak. It was at this moment that I had fully accepted and believed and was convinced and begin to think about it.
I thought about it often. This was June 30, 2016 and my first day, the day that I did not show up to work was on July 27, 2016. 27 days later.
I am pulling away from my first apartment. Alone. On the strength of the Lord amen. In faith. Not looking back amen. This is the freedom that I have been waiting for. Looking for. The joy that I have been waiting for amen.
Song. This is freedom by Tasha Cobbs amen. Is playing while I pull away. Perfect timing amen. Thank You Jesus. Lord I love you and am ready amen. This is the freedom of the Lord. Amen.@1036
End of journal entry.
During these 27 days I wavered. I took leave but then went back to work. I told my friend; only one person. I gave away everything in my apartment. I slept in a sleeping bag on the floor in my apartment.
I waited, patiently for the Lord to speak. I had to hear Him perfectly. He spoke. I froze. I got scared. I panicked. I was anxious. I was nervous. I disobeyed. Yes, after all that preparation I still did not move when He said to move. Not moving was me not going in to work. What I was feeling was new. I had never felt that way before. I am not perfect, I had disobeyed before and did not feel like this. I couldn’t shake it.
I was at work and my boss came to me and asked me, “why are you here?” I just stood there. He did not even ask or wait for me to reply. He just looked at me and then walked away. Next, I saw his boss and he asked me the same thing. I was asked why I was there. I knew it was God. I had a dream a few nights before that and in the dream my son was telling me dates and talking to me about work. The dream was coming to pass.
I then made up my mind and followed the new signs that were before me. I did not move by faith only the first time so this time I was given something to do and a place to be. I had to be on the road by a certain day to make it to where God was sending me. This became my confidence. My motivation. My foundation. My will to obey this was greater to me than my will to disobey. I couldn’t stay home. I couldn’t go to work anymore.
As I think about how I have been moving in the Lord, He usually gives me a vision or a dream or shows me signs to get me to move. I move by faith through what I see Him doing and saying. Yes, saying. I see His Words, and this helps me with my obedience. So, I didn’t move on a conversation that I had with God alone, I moved after evidence; a manifestation of what to do next.
I thank God for the way that He speaks to me.
I thank God for meeting me where I am.
I thank God for His patience.
He says that HE speaks twice, three times. I did not move the first time He spoke, and He gave me another chance according to His Word.
God is Love and He does not want us to fail.
My book; Why I Went AWOL – God Told Me To, is a series book. At the end of the series is where I am now and how me going AWOL had nothing to do with me but had everything to do with God.
I AM glad that He asked me to go.
The journey was fun.
The video I posted to my social media platforms about this post. 1:24 minutes.